Joan Armatrading - Secret Secrets

My mom used to be totally into Joan Armatrading. She waited for her new records to come out and bought them as soon as they did. I remembered being impressed by her voice even as a little kid. This record is in great shape and played just fine. I was pretty nonplussed by it. Not that it doesn't stand up to the test of time. It's just not my thing. I don't know. I am certain there will be specific Joan Armatrading songs that I will find while going through the stack that move me. None of them were on this record.

Anyway screw all that shit. Wanna hear an embarrassing story? Of course you do!

The Beatles - A Hard Day's Night

Okay, so, I'm playing through all the Beatles stuff I haven't played today. I have a stack of the Beatles, and a stack of the Stones and another stack of Bob Dylan that I'd like to complete before I start digging through all the other weird shit. I'm doing the Beatles first because I like to save the best for last. HA! Suck it BEATLES! Ah whatever. Most of it's good.

There are some really weird like, lounge or bossa nova versions of some Beatles tunes on this. Man... just weird.

I live in Brooklyn, weed capitol of NYC and I don't have a connection. How sad is that? Listening to this I wish I was hanging with my sister, smoking a doob, listening to this silly shit. Ah well. Next time I see her, I guess.

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Harry Nilsson - The Point!

Amy: Baby, what the hell is this?

Me: The Point.

Supertramp - ...Famous Last Words

More Supertramp. This is weird because I don't remember either of my parents or my stepfathers ever listening to or even mentioning Supertramp. This album doesn't have "Give a Little Bit" or "Bloody Well Right" on it so I'm pretty sure it doesn't even count.

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Supertramp - Breakfast in America

This has two songs on it that I think are okay, "The Logical Song," and "Take the Long Way Home." The title is kind of dick move though. I didn't have time for breakfast today and I'm freaking starving. Thanks, Supertramp. THANKS.

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Hall & Oates - Private Eyes

Couple things. One: My mom claims to be a Beatlemaniac. But judging by the condition of her Beatles records and Private Eyes by good old Daryl Hall and John Oates, it's clear where her priorities are. This thing is fucking pristine. Flat as a pancake, not a scratch on it. The jacket's a little moldy but the LP looks like it's fresh off the shelves of Sam Goody.

And two: There are a lot of things that stand the test of time. This album is not one of those things. Man, wow, not good. I told myself I was gonna listen to every playable record all the way through at least once. But I'm listening to Philadelphia's finest right now and I don't know if I can make the long hard slog to the end. Back when I was a kid I loved Hall and Oates. But man, I don't know if the nostalgia is enough to help me soldier through this one. Woof.

[wikipedia]

The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

I just saw my two-year-old spontaneously get up and start dancing to "With a Little Help From My Friends." It was the best thing I ever saw.

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The Beatles - HELP!

So what I had been doing was posting the pics and the descriptions and my thoughts and what not in the order that I unpacked them and took their pictures, roughly, more or less. But I got a turntable the other day and I finally got it hooked up. I can't clean them and play them in the order I unpacked them because they don't all have inner sleeves. I don't want to clean them and play them until I can put them away properly and I can't do that without an inner sleeve which they don't all have. I ordered some online but they haven't come yet. What all this needless detail that probably no one is ever going to read amounts to is, now I'm going through them basically at random, pulling albums that look interesting, making sure they're in relatively decent shape, have sleeves, cleaning them, and playing them. So. None of this matters and I should probably delete it but I'm not going to.

Anyway, the first album I cleaned up and played was HELP! by the Beatles which would make my mom proud. I probably ought to tell her. I guess I will eventually. Anyway, it had some minor scratches but it played just fine. The cover had some mildew on it that I cleaned up. I cleaned the album, got it to play. My little boy James loved it. He was going around in circles playing with his trucks humming a little tune while I sat and watched him and listened to the music my parents played when I was his age doing the same thing. I'm all verklempt.

[wikipedia]

Phil Ochs - Pleasures of the Harbor

The... Pleasures... of the Harbor? Really, Phil Ochs?

Really?

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Jane Olivor - Chasing Rainbows

Again with this lady. This time she looks less like a PTA mom and more like a dude in drag, which, to be honest, if I had to pick one, I'd go with the dude in drag. I want to see the other photos from this shoot.
"Show me happy!"
*click-click!*
"Show me sad."
*click-click!*
"Show me ANGRY!"
*click-click!*
"Show me you just got a new puppy!"
*click-click!*
"Show me, you ran out of coke and you can't get your dealer on the phone!"
Then she got sick of the asshole photographer, started thinking about firing him and: *click-click!*
That was the photo they went with.

Also, not for nothing, but I don't know anything about most of these artists so I'm just using what wikipedia says about their genres. I have a really hard time believing this lady ever produced anything that could be fairly categorized as rock.

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Prince - Controversey

Hate to break it to you buddy, but the most controversial thing I see is that mustache.

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Jane Olivor - The Best Side of Goodbye

I have no idea who this woman is. She looks like she's really frustrated by the other bitches at the PTA meeting. Soon as she gets home she's gonna down half a bottle of chardonnay and give her daughter an eating disorder.

[wikipedia]

Julian Lennon - Vallotte

I feel bad for Julian Lennon. It's gotta be impossible to live up to the cult of personality built up around his shitty father. I don't really remember much about this album. I remember that song "Too Late for Goodbyes" and I remember he sounded just like his dad and I remember he looked kind of like the kid from Young Sherlock Holmes. And that's about it.

[wikipedia]

Corey Hart - Boy in the Box

Well. Hell the fuck no.