Joan Baez - Diamonds & Rust

Joan Baez: "...my poetry is lousy you said..."
Amy: "Yup."

So, good old Joan Baez. I don't know. I got tired of the 80s bullshit pile so I pulled one from the pile of Hippy stuff. I did not have high hopes for it. She is a good singer. The production values are good. I mean, yeah no. It's not for me. I'm gonna listen to this because I told myself I was going to listen to every record in this pile. But this is not one I'm gonna put a gold star on and play over and over. It's not awful, it's just also not really any good, for me. I'm sure there are people who love it. And I can even kind of tell why. I can hear in it, the things that are good about it. They just don't move me.

And shit, could Joan use more tremolo or vibrato or whatever it is you call it when they wiggle their voice around like that? It's like... I get it, lady. You can do that thing with your voice, the annoying thing that doesn't make your singing any better but shows just how good at it you are. Now stop it.

Oh, good Christ. Children And All That Jazz broke me. I can't listen to this whole thing. It's fucking awful.

The jacket was a wreck. Water damaged. After having tried listening to it, I have to assume some well-intentioned soul tried to drown it. But their effort was for naught, because tragically, the platter is fine. Barely needed cleaning.

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John Cougar - American Fool

"Little ditty, 'bout..." SHUT THE FUCK UP. Oh my god, seriously? I don't hate this guy. But for me, this is music to roll your eyes to.

I... mean... god... damn...

Big teased hair, popped collar on your strategically worn out denim jacket... just... oh, 1980s, how you hurt me so.

Speaking of which! Story time!

Roberta Flack - Feel Like Makin' Love

Me: "This is really good."
Amy: "Who is it?"
Me: "Roberta Flack."
Amy: "Oh, yeah..."

This was really surprisingly good and not at all what I expected. I think maybe I expected some Billy Ocean bullshit. I'm sorry, mom. But Billy Ocean? Damn. I only had a vague idea that this was R&B. I had heard the name but didn't remember what this music was like. It was pretty awesome. It's chilled out music. It's make-out music. Come to think of it, I probably oughta leave this where I can find it easy...

Anyway, it's a good record. I had no idea who this woman was until I listened to it and looked her up. No idea that she performed the original version of Killing Me Softly, later covered by The Fugees. Didn't know any of that.

So it was in nearly pristine condition out of the sleeve. Dusted it a little. It plays great. Will listen to this one again.

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Joan Armatrading - Secret Secrets

My mom used to be totally into Joan Armatrading. She waited for her new records to come out and bought them as soon as they did. I remembered being impressed by her voice even as a little kid. This record is in great shape and played just fine. I was pretty nonplussed by it. Not that it doesn't stand up to the test of time. It's just not my thing. I don't know. I am certain there will be specific Joan Armatrading songs that I will find while going through the stack that move me. None of them were on this record.

Anyway screw all that shit. Wanna hear an embarrassing story? Of course you do!

Stevie Wonder - Fulfillingness' First Finale

Nice album, but I don't have any particular connection to it. Boogie on Reggae Woman is good. The rest of the tracks, I don't even remember. Not a real fan of half-hearted, weakly-argued apologetics, so Heaven Is 10 Zillion Light Years Away is never gonna be one of my favorites. Here's the thing, Stevie Wonder is amazing. I put this record on, I heard the first few bars of Smile Please and I thought, "meh..." then he started singing and I thought, "whoah..." because he's fucking awesome. This album though? Eh. Doesn't do much for me.

Cleaned up. Plays nice. Some minor scratches that don't affect playability. I'll give this a more thorough listen some other day, and write something more about it. Today though, this was just the record I played while I cleaned.

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Bruce Springsteen - Born in the U.S.A.

Jesus Christ, wikipedia, "heartland rock"? Anyway, guess I lied about not being patriotic today. And yes, before my legions of imaginary readers get all up in my ass about it, I am aware that Born in the U.S.A. is not about what Ronald Reagan thought it was about.

What the fuck is heartland rock anyway? Springsteen is from Jersey. Not a whole lot of people I've met from Iowa consider Jersey the heartland.

Not a lot of people I've met from Iowa... fuck Iowa!

Various - Easy Rider (Soundtrack)

This is probably about as patriotic as I'm gonna get today, which is a damned shame because, spoiler alert (as if you need it for a movie that's nearly fifty years old)...

The Cars - Candy-O

Another Cars album. Think I only have the two. It's a good record. I didn't recognize any of the song titles but I remembered the songs when I heard them. I like the Cars okay. They aren't one of my favorite bands but they have a lot of good songs and they were on heavy rotation on MTV back before it started to suck. Record was in great shape. Plays great. Jacket's good. Probably the best all around condition of anything I've played so far which is a god damned shame considering I can't get Highway 61 to play. So. Moving right along.

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The Band - The Band

Oh, man. What a great album. This is one of those records that, right from the first track, all the way through the end, is just awesome. This was one of my dad's favorite bands back in the day. Probably still is, even though he mostly listens to a lot of stuff from before he was born now. When you get old, you start to listen to old people music, apparently.

Guess that's kind of what I'm doing. Dammit...

Thompson Twins - Into The Gap

I played this the other night when Amy's friend Julie, who I've known long enough now that I can call her "our friend Julie," was visiting. I grabbed it at random out of the 80s bullshit pile. Amy, Julie and I were all surprised by how many of the songs we actually recognized. For such a totally 80s band (look at that hair...) I was surprised by how well it stood up. It was a fun listen. Probably didn't hurt that we were all drinking. Hold Me Now, Doctor Doctor... uh... other stuff. Good stuff.

Jacket's in great shape, better than most. Record cleaned up just fine. Played great. I'd actually listen to this one again, so, win all around.

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The Muppets - The Muppet Movie Soundtrack

I must have really loved this movie because here it is on vinyl, and I remember my dad having a copy on 8-track (it was a thing. google it.). He had an old Chevy Malibu from back when that was a cool car to have and not a grocery getter. It had an 8-track in it and we'd drive around singing along with Creedence and The Who and The Police and one or two he had for me. This was one of the ones he had for me. Anyway it was a good album and I have good memories about it. But not good enough to remember to update the blog when I played it. I played this like a month ago and forgot to write an entry for it until now.

Cleaned up. Plays nice. There you go.

[wikipedia]

Sebastian Cabot, actor, Bob Dylan, poet

Look at the Mona Lisa smile on that fat fuck's face. That is the face of a man who knows he is about to take some money from some hippies.

The Beatles - Meet The Beatles

So the jacket says this is "The First Album by England's Phenomenal Pop Combo" but wikipedia says it's the second US release. We all know record companies lie like anything and wikipedia at least tries not to so I'm going with wikipedia. I'm getting good and tired of the Beatles but all I have left is the white album and then I've played all of it. I did not expect there to be much on this one that I'd like. Their early stuff doesn't always do it for me, and I listened to my double of Sgt. Pepper right before this, and decided it was probably my favorite Beatles album. Then I looked at this and... eh. Didn't expect much.

It didn't get off to a great start either. The jacket is in terrible shape. It's split on two sides so it's more like a portfolio than a sleeve now, and my mom's cat's used it as a scratching post. They did that to all her records (fuck cats, am I right? fuck those fluffy destructive little shits) but they really did a number on this one. Big huge gouges. It was dirty, mildewed. AND there was a hiss so bad through the first minute of the first track that I almost called it a loss and didn't play it through.

Glad I did though. Heard some good old tunes I forgot about: This Boy, All My Loving. I also heard one I never herd before that I really liked: Don't Bother Me. So it plays alright, for the most part, even though it's all fucked up. There's a valuable lesson there. That's a powerful metaphor. Um. Or something. I'm just glad all I have left is the white album and then I can start digging through the Stones.

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The Beatles - Something New

This one was really dirty. I cleaned it up and after it played it was all covered with dust that got kicked up by the needle and the needle had a big dust bunny on it. Other than that, cleaned, plays, basic early Beatles. Got a neat German version of I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

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The Beatles - Beatles '65

Got my mom's name on it. I don't know. I Feel Fine is probably my favorite track on this one. Basic early Beatles before they went and got really freaky. Cleaned. Plays. Very minor skip on side two. Not enough to even notice unless you're looking for it.

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The Beatles - Hey Jude

The original title of Hey Jude was The Beatles Again, which pretty much sums up the way I feel about this album. I can't believe how many Beatles records there are in this stack. I'm played so many and I still have like, four or five left. Most of them are early, but I do have the White Album still to go. I think I'm leaving that one for last.

This cleaned up. Played just fine. No major scratches. Jacket's a wreck. Don't really care about the jackets though so whatever.

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The Beatles - Introducing The Beatles

Me: This is their first album.
Amy: Is it called Their First Album?
Me: No.
Amy: Good. Because that would be stupid.

So this is their first US release. I'm not terribly impressed. It's even more fiftieser. That is so a word. Um. Dirty. Cleaned up nice. Plays okay. It's got I Saw Her Standing There, Love Me Do, Do You Want to Know a Secret, and Twist and Shout which are four of their most famous songs and also the only four songs on here worth a tinker's damn. So. Yeah. It's the Beatles. Yay.

By the way, check out those haircuts. Nice, right?

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The Beatles - The Beatles' Second Album

Me: This is the Beatles' second album.
Amy: Cool.
Me: The title is The Beatles' Second Album.
Amy: Very creative.
Me: Well, they WERE creative geniuses.

Plays good. Had some weird crud on it but cleaned up nice. Couple minor skips.

The cool thing about this one is, you can really see where they were coming from. This is basically 1950's sock-hop rock-and-roll. Came out in 1964, but still. It's got like, Roy Orbison style guitars. It kind of puts Sgt. Pepper in perspective you know? This was... it might as well have been Rock Around the Clock. But just four years later they'd be some seriously psychedelic motherfuckers. It's a thing.

I mean... fuck 'em. They're the Beatles. Old people music. Whatever. Right?

But in four years they went from sharkskin suits and Beatle boots to Apple Bonkers and Blue Meanies. It's a thing. It's... a... big deal.

Words fail me. Go read a book about the Beatles. Maybe you've heard of them. They were something of a big deal at one time.

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The Beatles - Let It Be

Let It Be. The last album they made. They hated each other by the end. Aw, man. I thought these silly happy hippy fucks would cheer me up but listening to this album, thinking about their silly horseshit, it bums me out. All you need is love. They loved each other. Wasn't enough, was it? Were they ever not full of shit? I dunno man. On to the next one. Only got... half a fucking dozen left. How many albums did these assholes make? God damn. Nothing if not prolific, these well-intentioned hypocrites.

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The Beatles - Yellow Submarine

I remember watching this movie with my younger brother Steve when we were both kids. I remember both of us liking it. He's a kind of a punk rock guy now. And I'm a kind of a curmudgeonly ex-punk rock guy now. But don't let either of us fool you. We both listened to this silly all-you-need-is-love bullshit back in the day. This album plays pretty well. Looks scratched as fuck. Plays just fine.

Steve took me to a couple awesome bars in Williamsburg last week. Skinny Dennis which we both like and frequent pretty often, and Extra Fancy which is the best seafood I've had in Brooklyn. Wish we were all there now, me and Steve and Amy and Maureen. Hanging at Extra Fancy, slinging back beers and raw clams. It'd be a good time. I guess the nautical theme makes that little reminiscence appropriate. Maybe not. Either way. It would be a good time.

Bum-ba-bum, Sail the ship, Bum-ba-bum, chop the tree...

Side two of this is the incidental music from the movie and its really badly scratched. It doesn't skip too much but it's barely listenable.

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